CAUTION: Before everything else, I am warning whoever plans to read this entry that this is going to be one of my super wordy and obviously “self-centered” entries ever. “Self-centered”, perhaps because everything you are about to read is focused on me and my extensive life experiences and opinions. Violent reactions will be sarcastically ignored by yours truly. And yes, this may be focused on me and everything else that I am relevant to but you may always learn from anyone’s story. But as of now, this happens to be MY story. Here it is.
My Tune: The Valley Song by Jars of Clay
[ Sometimes, we would have to take everything the other way around to see life in a clearer and a more vast perspective. ]
Hello everyone! I am Kenn Edward Tenorio…
Before, upon hearing this name, everyone who knows me will already then have his very own interpretation of me. Maybe slightly different from that of the others but still, before, no matter how everyone’s view of me differs from the others’, they still were seeing that old, rotten and spoiled Kenn Edward Tenorio– the one I assure you now I had “killed” just a couple of seasons ago. But who is there to blame? No one. I had chosen everyone to see that naive person I was. And now remorse is one of the things that top my HATE LIST (it’s imaginary, though).
Right now, I firmly believe that about six months before, I had less brain cells. Broadly, I never tried to live life out of my comfort zone– the one I thought would still be comfortable enough even with the test of time and this cyclic existence’s unpredictable variations. I was wrong. In my last blog post I stated there what I realized: nothing’s permanent in this typical humanity. Which is true…at least that’s what I believe in. Looking back at the old person I was, I do know I can’t really type everything that I actually was here. So let me just give you the not-so-bit-by-bit recap of me “ages” before.
Honestly, before now, I was this type of person, specifically a student, who thinks and believes that grades are the bases of success. Hilarious, right? I never tried to get out of my comfort zone though I am fully aware I have more capacities and abilities to showcase than just memorizing pages of books and being contented with the rigid frameworks every school offers. But somewhere in the middle of my unconsciousness I have met several circumstances which changed my whole point of view on life. I realized that, first and foremost, grades are just numbers and never really are the bases of success of a person. Second, there’s more to life than just perfecting every quiz and examination and one of these is being able to meet significant people in your life that’ll make you feel uplifted and appreciated. Not to mention that they may be just the ones that’ll make living life a lot easier. Another is that what really matters in this life is something more than what the eyes can see, but I somehow believe that leaving footsteps and memories to the people around you is one thing that counts most.
Now here’s a little trivia. For the final grading period in my school last school year 2008-2009, I ranked 31.5, making my way out of the Honors List. Give me a time to laugh first, everyone (laughs). I personally think there are those who think I’m on drugs. Others may have thought I did it to gain attention. Still, others may be thinking that I’ve gone mad and quite eccentric enough to blow everything up and so on and so far. Bla bla bla.
Well, surprise! Because it’s none of the above.
You see, for me, school is a place of learning. Learning. The thing almost everyone misunderstands. Especially when you add “at school” at “learning”. “Learning at school”. Being an honor student once, I know how it is to be pressured on every bit of workload a school usually offers. Sometimes, I never even had the chance to relax and just drink some ice-cold lemon tea and forget everything that spells S-C-H-O-O-L. Because come on, everyone needs to relax. I mean it’s part of life. No one and nothing can take that right away from us. But sadly, it had been taken away from me. By who? Well, by myself and my once blind beliefs and practices. You see, I’m not trying to state here that studying is bad or something that is evil. But sometimes, other people forget that studying is just one phase of life. And there’s just a myriad of phases out there.
When I mentioned that school is a place of learning, I meant it. But learning doesn’t and shouldn’t only focus on one and steadfast thing. Learning is a beautiful process. And no matter what, I really believe that it should be done and undergone with bliss, enjoyment and lots of sanity partnered with fun. Why stress yourself out learning when learning on the first place is never stressing out on you? My mom always reminded me everytime we talked that I should enjoy my learning experience. And “enjoy” was before far from what I was doing. Now, as I take on life in a different path, I realized that one great purpose of school is for us to give ourselves a place and time to build genuine relationships, be it romantically or just amicably, with people around us. It is also a place for us to give ourselves a chance to discover what we really like to do in life– in what subject areas of knowledge we excel the most and what is there to do to develop our talents.
As a matter of fact, there is a whole world of knowledge out there that cannot be learned in school. And as of now, this is the kind of knowledge I believe everyone should be most interested in. The one that isn’t limited by covers of books and by the four corners of a classroom.
So, learn pieces of knowledge. But not in a desperate manner. Having good grades really does mean something. But it doesn’t mean everything.
I also find myself changing my ultimate goal in life. Well, before, riches and fame topped my wish list. But living life after I have deliberately over-analyzed it, I now have my one dream I hope would continue on coming true:
All I ever want is to make ‘footprints’ in this world and leave people around me with good memories that’ll make me remembered even after my death. Memories that’ll remind them of the times when we were together. Those good and bad times…those life challenges we, together, have conquered. All those ups and downs we have been through–the lessons we have learned from each other and from each other’s experiences. I just want the people I love to never ever forget me…and the person I am when I am with them–what I have become when I met them… how I am then never the same person again.
Simple dream, right? But not quite meaningless. One day, all of us will end up lying dead six feet under the ground with earthworms digging our cold bodies out of their parasitism. The point here is, all of us may die any minute from now. So why really worry about petty things in life? Why cry yourself out until there’s no tears left over a 75 grade mark? Why cut your wrist for “losing” your girlfriend? Why wish to just die when you can’t seem to take life’s challenges anymore? Why? Why waste your time doing all these foolish stuff when our stay here on earth is being constantly timed with an annoyingly ticking clock? Life really is too short to take for granted. That is why I believe my dream right now is one of the most sensible in humanity–one dream that’ll keep lingering on even after one’s death. Sometimes less indeed is more.
Life is what you make it–it is either one hell of a blissful roller-coaster ride…or nothing. Take chances. Live life and don’t let life live you.
And as I continue on living my life the way I want it to be lived, I find this new Kenn Edward Tenorio on the right track. And in case you’re wondering, yes! I just took a different spin.
Everyone will take their own different spins in time.
This especially goes to those people who are in my age group. I believe we are really not old or even just matured enough to already gather massive life experiences in very large doses that’ll lead us to the clearer and more vast perspective of life right now. But hey, we will. We will. My spin right now is just a partial one, I believe. There’s more to come for us, guys!
>>> I would like to acknowledge IG especially the Ybarzabal Council, the camaraderie I live in as my second home–the people I’ve always been with all this time and I believe, for the rest of my existence. Guys, you are one of my inspirations for writing this entry. Hehe. Labyooo pips!