Mi Ultimo Adios: My Curtain Speech

My Tune: Love Alone by Caedmon’s Call

Yesterday, I made a very crucial decision. Yesterday, I clearly saw that it’s not everyday that one person can just pick up where he left off.

I agree that sometimes, simply saying goodbye to something that can never seem to be right is way much better than hopelessly waiting for it to actually be finally right.

Everyone has a certain past life. Everyone makes mistakes.

But not everyone’s past life is perfect, and not everyone’s mistakes are corrected. Some stick to their past and desperately try to relive it, while some move on, hoping to start a new beginning.

I? I choose to give my curtain speech herein.

I believe that I have two kinds of speech in my mind that I’m planning to deliver. The first one, is this- the written remark. The second, is the visual remark- the one I will give both deliberately and randomly.

Here is my written remark.

So I was talking about yesterday. This is because it was yesterday when I decided to clear things up in my mind. I bet everyone who’s close to me knows how my past life isn’t really that smooth-sailing. I believe it’s about time I put an end to some things that I know will never have a space in my life.

Do you know the feeling of wanting something or someone so badly but you know for yourself that there is no way that you’ll ever have it or that person? Do you know the feeling of obsessing with something or someone that on the first place, isn’t even close to being in like with you? Do you know how it is to wonder why good things just simply come to an end without even showing signs and signals? Most importantly, do you know how it is to live with love alone? Because I do.

Right now, I just want to laugh with bliss because finally, I’ve given myself a present like never before; that finally, I made a decision using both my heart and my mind; that finally, I found the place where I know I can start something fresh and wonderful.

I came to think that there’s just more to living life than waiting for something to come. I believe I should keep on taking chances. I believe that I should keep on telling myself that I should let other people take a way into my life. I came to think that there are still other beautiful things that are waiting for me to embrace them. Take for example the evening showers. They are the ones, not the catastrophic hurricanes and tsunamis, that make the green grasses grow healthily, but they get no publicity. Sigh. I guess before now, I lacked the understanding of the existing fact that big things indeed come from small packages. Now, I just want to make everything up to myself. I’ll fill the spaces in my life with little, but beautiful, things.

Plus, I realized that waiting for something which you know doesn’t deserve your longing is like dancing under the rain. It somehow feels good, but you know it’s going to make you sick like hell.

And looking back, I was just as sick. So now, I’m taking my medicine, which in my case, is a new beginning.

Everyone can move on. It’s just that not everyone chooses to.

In my watch, I will not be the “everyone” who’ll stay a martyr forever. I’m telling you, I am The Strong One. The Brave One. The Invulnerable One.

You’ll see. I can bounce back.

I’ll embark on a new journey [ I know, I know. It’s cliche’! haha! So what?!]. What is important is that I know that I can move along.

This is goodbye to every single thing and person in my life that actually made no sense in it. This is goodbye to every big thing that hadn’t even offered any genuine happiness. This is goodbye to those sleepless nights, those sympathetic longings… those good-for-nothing midsummer night’s dreams.

I’ll embrace something fresh, new and beautiful.

I believe, I believe.

This, my last farewell, I give to you, with a lifted head and a sinister smile.

8 thoughts on “Mi Ultimo Adios: My Curtain Speech

  1. kabalo kna man na ah.

    mu na gani, nga stop na kamu halay ka sunlog.

    “daw buli” gani, nyahaha.

    hehe. ikaw lang gid ia kag si Kristel ang kabalo mag comment diri., ang iban damu2 ga comment either sa profile ko or sa message. dapat diriiii!

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