My Symphony: Collide by Howie Day
A lot of people are sad. Everyday, millions of people cry over different sorts of stuff. Again and again, we all come to a point of asking ourselves “Who creates our happiness?” Last weekend, I found out the answer.
As what most of the people in Facebook have noticed, I had a pretty rough week. Basically, I fell short of what I had been planning out for many days. The original plan was to have a Grand Farewell Party with the people I treated like family– my college friends. I thought that everything will work out great as the last of the lasts, but life really has its way of telling us what is and what isn’t meant to happen.
To make it all clear to you, only two out of thirteen that I invited came to the “Grand Farewell Party.” Pretty plain, huh? Well I don’t think so. You see, I did my part. I did all that I could just so the party would be a memorable one. I sacrificed time, effort and even personal schedule, and I did all of it because I once thought it would all be worth it. But sometimes, no matter how hard you try and no matter how desperate you are to get some people’s attention and appreciation, they still don’t see your worth. It’s like in the end, you just have to take a few steps backwards and see that it’s really not your loss. It’s theirs.
I already expressed that what irked me the most is the fact that those who didn’t come didn’t even tell me ahead of time that they couldn’t make it. They waited for me to ask them for like a million times if they were coming, and yet I got no response AT ALL. It was only when I made it obvious that I was disappointed (fiercely, irreversibly disappointed) that they threw their apologies and excuses.
It’s really perfectly fine with me if they rejected my invitation. Dang, I’m used to rejection. It’s their profound and utterly ruthless dispositions of inconsiderate indifference and disrespect that hurt me the most. And you wanna know why? It’s because I EXPECTED MORE FROM THEM.
I was having a relaxation time with Jonnah, Miguel and Bonn in the Mambukal Dipping Pool and I thought to myself “All of this was supposed to be for all of us. The Good Friends. Well, too bad they’re missing this. And I don’t even know if they’re missing me.”
But whatever. I’m over it. I’m over the drama. I just promise myself NEVER to expect anything from anyone ever again. Because in the end, I’ll get my heart broken again. And no one wants his heart shredded into tiny pieces. And so I choose to see the BIGGER PICTURE, and all I know is that it involves the people who saved me from feeling useless and under-appreciated:
The only thing that’s nice in getting disappointed with some people is that you’ll eventually learn that happiness isn’t about how many people you are with. Sure, a crowd is loud, but it is in the exclusivity and intimacy of a group that simple yet meaningful conversations are made– conversations that change everything you believed in, conversations that make you see things in a vast view. With these people, I learned that WE MAKE OUR OWN HAPPINESS.
We are the creators of our own bliss. 🙂
As with the exact details of our escapade, that remains UNWRITTEN, but will forever be REMEMBERED. :p