Detachment Issues

My Symphonies: Sunday Morning Call (acoustic session) by Oasis

 All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye by John Mayer

Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting. — Peter Pan

As you might have guessed, earthlings, I am about to post something in which the integral focus is saying goodbye. I just can’t help it. Tomorrow might be the very last day I get to see a few people who have earned a place in my heart and mind over the span of four months. And here I am, sitting in front of my laptop, fully aware that the many weeks to come will be yet another parade of eerie moments of getting used to some people’s sudden absence. I know that at this point of my life I should already be a veteran at letting people go, but as I grow up I find that it never gets any easier; in fact, it gets harder… more unbearable. But I know that there’s nothing I can do about it. People always leave for different sorts of reason. So here. I have decided to compile herein words of goodbye (ugh, I’m such an emotional masochist).

Words of goodbye (a compilation):

And so it comes just as it is, a day no longer here.
And through my trembling fingertips, the memories of the year …
I try not to wave farewell to all our dreams; I will forget you never,
I wonder if the crazy times will stay with you forever …
But as I cry in pain of losing you, my dear and such good friend,
I will not close the book and say, “Farewell, this is the end.”
For good-byes create swift hellos and days from now you’ll see,
That though it hurts to say good-bye, your friend I’ll always be.

“The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we’ve lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we’ve found each other. And maybe each time, we’ve been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.” — Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

“What is that feeling when you’re driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? – it’s the too-huge world vaulting us, and it’s good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.” 
 Jack KerouacOn the Road

“I was trying to feel some kind of good-bye. I mean I’ve left schools and places I didn’t even know I was leaving them. I hate that. I don’t care if it’s a sad good-bye or a bad good-bye, but when I leave a place I like to know I’m leaving it. If you don’t you feel even worse.” 
― J.D. SalingerThe Catcher in the Rye

“I’ve never forgotten him. Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart. I still cannot understand how he could abandon me so unceremoniously, without any sort of goodbye, without looking back even once. The pain is like an axe that chops my heart. ” 
 Yann MartelLife of Pi

“I do not say goodbye. I believe that’s one of the bullshitiest words ever invented. It’s not like you’re given the choice to say bad-bye, or awful-bye, or couldn’t-care-less-about-you-bye. Everytime you leave, it’s supposed to be a good one.” 
― John GreenWill Grayson, Will Grayson

 “Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes.  A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.  And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends.” ~Richard Bach

“We only part to meet again.”  ~John Gay

“Can miles truly separate you from friends? I mean, if you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there?” ~Richard Bach

“Good-bye … there’s just no sadder word to say.And it’s sad to walk away with just the memories.Who’s to know what might have been,we leave behind a life and time we’ll never know again.”~ Leanne Rimes

“Good-byes make you think.They make you realize what you’ve had, and what you lost and what you’ve taken for granted.”

Good-bye (again). 


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One thought on “Detachment Issues

  1. Kenn – you know diddly-squat about me – so I figured I should tell you my dad was in the Canadian Air Force for 25 years and so as up until puberty I moved from one Air Force base in Canada to another at least every two years.

    That meant I got quite used to relating to new places and new people decently and also quickly – but also programmed into being able to say good-bye and never expecting to see those friends again in life.

    That pattern, fortunately or unfortunately, has been too-deeply ingrained in me my whole life – and jobs, friendships, and intimate relationships tend not to last more than that same 2 year period. I can quite easily or naturally ‘touch and go’ without regrets. I don’t seem to miss things when they’re over, no matter they be interests, people, pets or jobs. It’s just the way I operate – and don’t expect it to ever change.

    One thing though, that always hurts, over and over again as if it was the first time – is rejection. Maybe that’s just another name for a pretty solid ‘good-bye’, eh? From someone who doesn’t even give you a decent chance to say ‘hello.’

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