Lights

My Symphony: Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World

The rain, the cold, the city’s bleakness and somber atmosphere. All of it makes me idyllic, pensive, subdued and introspective. I feel like writing…

I woke up this morning and the first thing I did after I got out of bed was say (out loud), “Fuck. It’s freezing”. I then hurriedly put on my earphones attached to my iPod as I made my way to the bathroom. I have this playlist called “Ancient Symphonies”, and I haven’t really visited this playlist in a looong time (about 11 months). Upon scrolling down a little bit, I saw this song (“Hear You Me” by Jimmy Eat World) and chills instantly went down my spine. I played the song, and water just came out of my eyes.

About four years ago (December 2008), I was standing alone on the roof top of our house and I remember feeling like shit at that time. I was having a bad night, and I just felt so lost that at that moment, I lost all my confidence and hope. I just felt like everything was ending, and that life was nothing but dark and miserable– something I thought I could never understand. I was only 15, and sure, my problems back then seems shallow to me now, but all of it felt real at the time. And so I just decided to go up there. On the rooftop. To get some fresh air, and to think things over. But I knew that there was a bigger reason I went up there. I knew that the universe conspired for me to have the impulse to go up there in that specific time of my life, that particular minute. I wiped my tears away, and I looked ahead of me as I heard the sound of fireworks. And there they were: the fireworks. Blue, green, red, yellow, white, violet, all coloring the dark skies that night. It was such a good sight to see. But what happened next is something a little bit more extraordinary.

As the fireworks went on gracing the skies with different colors, and as crowds of people seven kilometers away screamed and rejoiced at the sight of those fireworks, I saw, in the corner of my right eye, something bright and fast-descending. In a tenth of a second I decided to look away from the fireworks and I turned my full attention to that bright thing I saw on my right. It was a shooting star. And it was the most unbelievably beautiful thing I’ve seen in my life so far. I wasn’t able to make a wish. It was impossible to think of anything when something like that is right in front of you as a fleeting occurrence. All of it happened so fast. It was there one second, and the next it was gone. But I looked at the streak of light that the star has left across the sky and it was just as beautiful as the star itself. And today, this song has brought me back to that moment. That wonderful experience I had which I never told anyone until now. I don’t really know why I never told anyone about this, nor had I written about this. Maybe it’s because I didn’t think that it was something I could explain. I didn’t think that anyone could ever understand the kind of happiness and hope such an evanescent memory can bring.

And everytime I hear this song and I remember that one fateful night in December 2008, I keep on wondering, “What if I got too engaged in the view of the fireworks that I missed all of it? What if I missed that shooting star?”

To me, that experience and this song are about someone who has helped us cope with something awful in our lives. People with big hearts who offer help and expect nothing in return and sometimes we tend to ignore them and we just don’t value their existence nor recognize their effort. And then later we realize what they had done for us, and sometimes this realization comes late– the moment when they are already gone. The regret of not being able to say “thank you” to those wonderful people was reflected on this song, and though you wanted to say “thank you” now, they cannot hear you anymore. And then what was left with you was a prayer to God that the Angels would protect them. What I love about this song is the idea that we should not procrastinate on things that we could do now because we never know what tomorrow might bring. So whatever it is that you feel like you need to do, or say, it is best to act on it now because time is so precious, and we are not the one’s holding the length of time that we’re gonna spend here on earth. I think it’s best to show our love everyday to those people we care about, visit our grandparents, and if you love someone secretly let him/her know so that when the moment arrives that they will be taken from us, we never have to regret the things we left undone.

“And if you were with me tonight, I’d sing to you just one more time a song for a heart so big, God wouldn’t let it live.” — Jimmy Eat World

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