My Symphony: Lithium by Nirvana
Friday | December 14th, 2012
It’s days like this I am actually rooting for the Mayans to be right. Seriously. Let’s just cede the planet to the raccoons and the crickets. We don’t deserve it. Yes! I know that what I just said is such an awful pessimistic generalization, but it’s true. As a species, we are sick and retarded. This world has become a giant mess bigger than its tangible size. BUT HERE’S THE THING: I am not angry at the shooter. Not at all. God, I don’t even blame him.
I’ve been reading articles, comments and discussions about the tragedy the whole morning, and the internet is filled with both grief for the adults and children whose lives were taken, and a ceaseless hatred towards Adam Lanza (the alleged gunman who, turned out, also took his own life from him). But really, if you take a look at the big picture, we shouldn’t feel sad and angry about what happened— we should rather feel sad and angry about HOW THE WORLD IS TODAY. I do not know this Adam Lanza guy, but just like everyone else, HE HAD HIS PROBLEMS. As irrational and as unforgivable as what he did is, there was a reason why he did what he did. Maybe the light he once had shut off; maybe all the strings inside him broke; maybe he felt this ball of darkness and grief inside his belly so strong, so enormous and so penetrating that a state of sanity was never ever going to be possible for him again. Or maybe the amount of sadness he felt about the world overpowered him, and he let it eat him, until it has taken a life of its own. And maybe he had finally reached a point of exhaustion so overwhelming that the only way to escape it was to rest. I do not know. And we will never know for the human mind is so complex and so multi-layered with a myriad of thoughts, desires, griefs, ideas, experiences, memories. We will never know what it really was, how it really was, why it really was… but I do know, and there is nothing to sugarcoat here, that SOCIETY has a lot to do with the tragedies in life.
Fucking shallow human beings have created this sick, one-dimensional world that craves like hyenas for fun, success, glamour, riches and fame, and has no regard for “others” as people. Fucking politics. Fucking social hierarchy. Fucking pretentious bastards who never seem to get tired trying to be someone else just for the sake of ‘friendships’. Fucking hypocrites. Fucking patriarchs. Fucking authorities. Fucking rules. And fucking bitch of an illusion that we as a species are fine. Because we’re not.
We’re really not.