To My Friends Who Are Still Trapped In Toxic Relationships

My Symphony: Skeletons / Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Love is not a prison. Maybe at this point in your life it sometimes feels like it is, but it shouldn’t be. It’s not a prison. It shouldn’t look like one, it shouldn’t sound like one, and it certainly shouldn’t operate like one. You should be able to hang out with your friends, with your family, with your co-workers, even with the sidewalk fishball vendor you’ve gotten to know well over conversations about politics and religion on the corner of your street as you wait for the bus every morning. You need to understand that you are not behind bars. You can go outside and live. You are allowed to watch the sunset from breathtaking horizons with your loved ones. Your hands are not tied, your feet are not chained, your life is not limited by four rusty corners. You can breathe, and whenever you do, you should be able to breathe deeply and freely.

Love is not a game. You shouldn’t be tossing and turning at night debating with yourself about where you stand in someone’s life. You shouldn’t be losing sleep wondering if you are worth loving, because you are. And that person making you question that is nothing short of garbage, and you need to throw him or her out of your life as forcefully as you can. All of the mind games just need to stop. You are not a toy and your soul is not a punching bag. You should be looking at someone in the eyes and not feel like you’re staring at a stranger. You should be able to look inside them and feel like you’re home. You should be able to hold them without fearing that they’re going to let go first, because they won’t… because they never did… because they never will.

Love is not a test. You do not have to pass anything. This isn’t an examination where you have to burn the midnight oil to make sure you don’t fail. There is nothing to fail at, only bits of lessons you can learn, only glimpses of perfection you can sometimes miss. You shouldn’t ever feel like you have to prove something, or that you have to improve something – about yourself, about your life, about the world that you live in. You shouldn’t ever feel like you’re walking around eggshells in fear of “fucking things up”, because “fucking things up” should be a thing so un-thought of that you have started to forget what it even means to fuck things up. And in the slim instance that you do fuck things up, you should be so engulfed in the realness and the greatness of what you have with that person that you are confident enough that love itself can straighten out what is crooked; that even though you know a genuine apology cannot fix everything, it is a magnificent start.

Love is not a contest. You are not trying to be better than anyone; You are not racing to the finish against anyone. It is not a competition, nor is it a race. When you look at yourself in the mirror, you should see how beautiful you are, even when you never explicitly acknowledge that. You shouldn’t feel less than what and who you are because of the relationship that you are in. You should never, ever, be compared to anyone in his or her past or present life. You shouldn’t feel insecure about how you look, or ever doubt that you are worth it, or ever fear being incomplete without your partner’s validation, because you know you were whole long before you even met this garbage person.

You should be looked at like a Vincent van Gogh art piece, listened to like a Beethoven symphony, embraced like the warm waves in the Pacific Ocean, and kissed like the first drop of rain after a long, dry summer.

If there was anything I wish could be learned the easy way, it’s that you are amazing, just the way you are. We all have doubts about ourselves, we all have insecurities about ourselves, and we all have imperfections we wish we didn’t have. We’re just humans. But when the time comes that you do share your life with someone, it has to be with a person who builds you up, who makes you feel better not just about yourself but about life in general. It should be with someone who brings the sunshine in any rainy day.

So get up. Get out. And start living the life you deserve, with the people who deserve you.

Truthfully,

Kenn Edward Tenorio ❤

Kiddie Pool Deep

My Symphony: Let Me Take You Out by Class Actress

[Liam and Silver, 90210]

Season4,Episode20: The episode that affirmed my concrete belief that humans are generally incapable of fulfilling the concept of “forever” in relationships.

It is pretty much similar with all the other teen drama series, but 90210 really has the most mishmashed coupling up of characters that it has already come to a point of making no sense at all. I never missed a second of the series, and I am a witness. Everybody in this show is just dating everybody else. It doesn’t matter if that person was his/her bestfriend’s boyfriend/girlfriend or if he/she was a former love interest of somebody else close to him/her. And the worst part is none of the characters really seem to care. The girls who almost killed each other over a guy have instantly moved on, became friends again and are now dating the ex-boyfriends of their friends. And the guys who have been to hell and back just to win the affection of the girls are now with the girls who used to be their BEST BUDDIES’ “only one”.

And I am not being an over-reacting raw-truth concluding bitter self-righteous hypocrite here. I actually already took my Vow of “Celibacy”. I mean, what has happened to this world? What happened to chivalry, benevolent truth and altruistic indulgence? I know some breeds of people are fine with all the kiddie-pool deep connections going on in this planet, but it’s not fun anymore– not when you begin to acquire the knowledge and understanding that it’s ridiculously disturbing and derogatory.

But nope, I don’t hate 90210. It’s still my favorite show in the world. 🙂
I am just happy that the truth about “modern” human relationships is really being displayed in the open in broad daylight, and I am here… sitting, watching as humanity breaks into tiny ugly pieces of lies and dark fabrications. And at the end of the day, just like 90210, this all is just nothing more than a SHOW. Yep, that’s what all of this is. Some sort of a “live theatre performance” created and performed by all the “normal” humans in this world… and I’m the only one watching.

🙂

P.S. So much for my then undying hope that Annie and Liam will end up together in the end. Oh well scalpel! That’s it Sanskrit!