The Childhood I’ve Outgrown and the Simplicity I Want To Own Again

My Symphony: Only One by Yellowcard

Songs and smells will bring you back to a moment in time more than anything else. It’s amazing how much can be conjured with a few notes of a song or a solitary whiff of a room. A song you didn’t even pay attention to at the time, a place that you didn’t even know had a particular smell. I wonder what will someday bring back Dex and our few months together. Maybe the sound of Dido’s voice. Maybe the scent of the Aveda shampoo I’ve been using all summer.
 Emily Giffin

To all 17s, 18s and 19s out there…

This song brings me back to the cozy and mysterious hallways of my high school. And I do hate high school. I really do. But I just miss it sometimes. I mean, do you ever come to think of it? The fact that we will never be younger than we are RIGHT NOW, like at this very moment, this very second. Doesn’t that freak you out? I don’t know what your high school life had been like, but mine was surely a hell of a story even I can’t believe had actually happened. And as each day passes, I begin to look forward to looking back. It’s like as I grow up, the fear of what’s out there is beginning to build up, and I can’t help but remember the old days when things were a whole lot simpler. What is it in life that we want? I mean, why do we even wake up each morning and go to school or to work? What is this all for? I’m pretty sure all the 20 somethings as well as our parents have an answer to that question. But as with people so young and so innocent like us teenagers, it’s still all vague. We, the teenagers, are in a certain point of our lives where the past doesn’t seem so far away and the future isn’t that close either. We spend most of our time preparing for that “bright tomorrow” even when we don’t really know what that means. So what does that mean exactly, success? Is it money? Is it fame or luxury? Is it a state of “self-fulfillment”? I don’t know. And I’m sure as hell no one in this world really knows what success is or how to measure it. Why? Because people never get contented. That’s the bottom line. We always seem to want something MORE than what we already have. It’s just NEVER EVER enough for anybody in this place full of greed and self-absorption. And even the richest people on earth aren’t that happy. Because humanity lacks the capacity to appreciate the SIMPLE THINGS in life. We are all just so aggressive and so determined to work hard for that thing we call “success” but we don’t know if success guarantees happiness. The way I see it, at the end of the day, we all come back to the very place we are dying to escape. And that is the place called “simplicity”. After all the riches have been splurged away, after all the complexities have maimed our lives, all the drama, all the sorrows, all the pain, all the laughter, all the challenges and everything else in between, it all comes down to what’s plain and simple— life. That’s everything all of this ever is. LIFE. Nothing more and nothing less. And so everytime I remember that I am 18, I miss high school more and more. Because I know that when life gets too complicated and when I find myself being the complicated person I swore I’d never be, HIGH SCHOOL will be my only reminder of the childhood I’ve outgrown and the simplicity I wanna own again.